The Discernment Process

4 Chapters · 50 Lessons

  1. 1

    How to Predict the Future of ANY Relationship

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      Part 1 of 4: How to Predict the Future of ANY Relationship

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      What We Know About Relationships

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      Finding #1: It Pays to Stay Calm During Conflict

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      Finding #2: The Magic 5:1 Ratio

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      Finding #3: Avoid the Four Toxic Communication Patterns

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      Finding #4: Express Interest and Listen

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      Your Turn: Discuss With Your Partner

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      Next Steps

  2. 2

    Negative Sentiment Override

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      Part 2 of 4: Negative Sentiment Override

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      When Your Relationship Becomes a Minefield

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      The Study That Revealed Our Blind Spots

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      The Body Keeps Score: What NSO Actually Feels Like

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      Fritz Heider's Discovery: Why We See Ourselves So Differently

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      Why You Can't Think Your Way Out

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      How to Rebuild Your Friendship

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      How PSO Transforms Conflict (The Part That Changes Everything)

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      What Doesn't Work (And Why Well-Meaning Advice Often Fails)

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      The Insider/Outsider Discrepancy: Why Other People Don't Understand

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      Building Your Way Back: The Path to Positive Perspective

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      The Timeline: What to Expect on the Journey

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      When You Slip Back (Because You Will)

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      The Gift You Give Your Nervous System

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      Your Turn: Discuss With Your Partner

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      Next Steps

  3. 3

    Perpetual Problems and Gridlock

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      Part 3 of 4: Perpetual Problems and Gridlock

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      The Problem You've Been Avoiding: Understanding What's Been Pushing You Apart

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      Why This Matters When You're Deciding About Your Marriage

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      The Anatomy of Gridlock: What's Really Been Happening

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      The Common Patterns: Where Couples Get Stuck

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      Your Contribution: The Hardest Thing to See

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      Understanding What This Has Cost

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      The Work of Discernment: Seeing Your Gridlock Clearly

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      What Becomes Clear: The Three Paths Forward

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      The Dreams Underneath: What You're Each Really Fighting For

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      The Invitation: Clarity Through Understanding

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      Your Turn: Discuss With Your Partner

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      Next Steps

  4. 4

    Trust and Commitment

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      Part 4 of 4: Trust and Commitment

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      Understanding the Foundation of Trust and Commitment

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      The Question Hiding Inside Every Argument

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      What Trust Actually Means: Thinking for Two

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      The Fork in the Road: Where Commitment Diverges

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      The Mental Habits That Predict Your Path

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      The Daily Choices That Build or Erode Everything

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      What You're Really Evaluating: Understanding the Continuum

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      The Conversations You Must Have

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      The Truth About Commitment

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      Making Your Decision

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      Your Turn: Discuss With Your Partner

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      Next Steps